Heartbroken

Everywhere I turn I am hearing about or seeing images of the shooting that happened in CT on Friday. This is not the first time a mass-shooting has occurred.  It's not even the first time one has occurred since I became a mother, sadly.  However, I find myself crying over this particular tragedy over and over again.

I had to leave work early Friday afternoon and get my kids.  All I was doing was sitting at my desk crying anyway.  Poor things probably thought I'd gone crazy when I picked them up, I squeezed them so tightly.  I am unsure of how the parents of those innocent children whose lives were stolen are even breathing.  I am unsure of how the parents of those children who lived, but who have had their innocence stolen are getting them to sleep at night.  I am unsure of what would become of me if something like that happened to my children.

There is a lot of talk - on Facebook, the media and overheard conversations about gun control, right to bear arms, mental health awareness and parenting.  It seems everyone has a solution, and if we'd only listen, this problem would be no more.  I was shocked to log on to Facebook Friday evening and see posts of people literally begging, "please don't take my guns away".  My opinion on guns and gun control aside, I found it tasteless to be begging to keep guns, when the parents in CT are begging to have one more moment with their children.

Truth be told, I don't have a solution.  I haven't the first idea how we go about saving our children from this type of home-grown terrorism.  I do know, though, that nothing is going to change while our country remains so adversarial and polarized.  I know that we will get nowhere if people are unwilling to budge from their opinion, or in many cases, even completely unwilling to listen to an opposing one.

Our goal is the same (I hope).  We do not want any more children (or anyone else) to die in this senseless manner.  I truly hope that we can begin to speak to one another in a civil manner, begin to bring real ideas for solutions to the table, and that we can begin to change the way things are going in this country.  We need to demand that our government and law enforcement pay attention to the growing crisis, and focus on finding a way in which we can stop it.

I feel helpless.  I cannot (nor do I want to) put my children in a bubble and keep them with me every moment of every day for the rest of their lives.  I have to trust the people who care for them to do their very best to keep them safe.  However, the truth is that my very best and their very best may not be good enough.  I am desperate to find a solution - a way in which we can make our country, towns, schools and homes safer places.

Until that solution is found, I intend to savor the moments I do have with my beautiful children...every smile, hug, giggle, question, juice spill and late night awakening; and pray with everything that I have that I am continued to be blessed with more of them.