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Tuesday, December 4, 2012

A Mother's Fear

When I first found out that my son would be born with a "defect" (how I hate that term), one word kept swirling around my brain: bullies.

It seems you cannot turn the television on these days without hearing a tragic story of a young life ended, or severely altered because of that one word.  Growing up I never really dealt with bullying, though someone I love very much did, and never spoke of it.  I know bullying has been around for a long time, but it seems to have gotten worse in recent years, due in part to the internet.  It's gotten so bad that young kids are taking their own lives because they have been made to feel worthless for one reason or another - over and over again.

That scares the shit out of me.

My son will look, and likely sound different from his peers.  Through no fault of his own, and not because of his actions, intelligence or what is in his heart, there is a good chance he will be teased, mocked, and worse.  As his mother I am at a loss as to how to prepare him for this, and feel helpless to stop it.

It is my hope that his father and I will be able to instill in him a sense of self worth and good humor.  It is my hope that these things will carry him through the difficult times.  It is my hope that his sister will be there for him.  She has known and loved him since he was born - with a "boo-boo" and all.  It is my hope that the children of our friends, with whom he will grow up, will stand up for him.  It is my hope that his surgeries and therapies now will lessen the differences from his peers later.  It is my hope that this world becomes a more accepting and tolerant place before he even reaches the stage where bullying is able to touch him.

Most of all it is my hope that he NEVER feel so hopeless and unloved that he feels that ceasing to exist is the best option, or even an option at all.  It is my JOB to make sure he never does.


  1. My son is bullied. It breaks my heart over and over. But what is worse is hearing his defeat and hearing him internalize the negative comments and believing they are his truth. What an awesomingly challenging job for all parents but one that can be successfully navigated. I'm doing with my guy one day at a time.

    1. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad he's at least talking to you about it. Good luck going forward. I really hope more parents begin teaching their children tolerance and acceptance. However, bullies learn the behavior at home...