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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Savoring it

It's been a rough few weeks for us.  We've had our share of "stuff" to deal with: sleepless nights, pain, tears, worry and stress.  When we were at the hospital with my son, a nurse walked in to his room at a particularly vulnerable moment on my part.  I was upset and crying, and my husband was holding me, doing his best to make me feel better about my poor baby in pain.

Little sickie on our way to the Pediatrician
I thought about that moment the other day, and wondered what that nurse must have thought.  I wonder if she kind of side-eyed us.  His condition is not life-threatening, his surgeries are not hours upon hours, and his hospital stays are limited to days, not weeks or months.  I know the nurses at All Children's see MUCH worse than what we have endured, but to us it's not nothing.

I have always loved children.  If you ask my mother she'll tell you I was born to be a mommy.  I wasn't always sure I wanted some of my own, but I thought if I did, I knew how much I would love them.  Truth?  I had NO idea.  Until I had my daughter, I really had no idea how much it is possible to love another human being.  The best way to describe it is to imagine your heart running around outside your body.  You want to protect it from everything, and you feel as though you would die if something happened to it.

When my kids hurt, I hurt.

So it was a relief to have them both seem like they were feeling better this weekend.  I had the opportunity to take them to the park and "ice cream store" on Sunday afternoon, and it was just plain fun.

Really, it is because of the rough patches that I am able to wholeheartedly appreciate the relaxed, good times.  It is because of those rough patches that I get off my lazy behind, get everything packed up, and take them to the park and out for ice cream.  It is because of those rough patches that I savor the snuggles, giggles and games when they are happening.  And that reminder can apply to every aspect of life.  When you struggle, you appreciate success.  When you are lonely, you appreciate friendship.  When you miss someone, you hold on to every detail of your time together.

This too shall pass....the good and the bad.  So this mama is going to hold on to the good for as long as possible, and learn from but let go of the bad.


  1. You are wonderful. And I love your kids. And maybe that nurse walked away hurting for you because regardless of what kind of pain your babies are in, all pain for them is horrible. So maybe, as you were there hoping to take away your son's pain, she was hoping she could take away yours.